“All stress comes from Resistance to what is!” – Kare Landfald
When we resist for whatever reason, what is showing up in our lives, we experience stress.
Why? Because we have formed beliefs over the years about how Life should be, both in a positive way, we should be happy – and in a negative way – I should be prettier. We have beliefs about absolutely everything: about how we should live, about how others should be, what should or should not happen, when it should happen, how it should happen or why it should or should not happen! Imagine what all of this ‘shoulding’ is doing to your brain-body chemistry?! If contemporary teacher and author, Gregg Braden, is right, then it is simply messing up our chemistry.
“In the presence of positive emotions, such as appreciation,gratitude, compassion, and caring, the brain releases a very different kind of chemistry into the body. When we feel a sense of well-being, the level of stress hormones in our bodies decreases, while the life-affirming chemistry of a powerful immune system with anti-aging properties increases'” – Gregg Braden
This shoulding includes opinions we have formed about past events that become triggered in the present. For example you might have been bitten by a dog as a child, so you have a belief that dogs are bad in your sub-conscious. If you are going for a walk and a dog comes up to you, your belief that dogs are bad will immediately take over and you will become afraid and try to chase the dog away. Your belief is in fact telling you that you should chase the dog because it will harm you. But is this the truth? Do you really know that the dog in this scenario is in fact harmful? No! Life is therefore an entirely subjective experience lived according to what we believe.
There’s a whole lot of ‘shoulding‘ right?!
…..And where does all this ‘shoulding’ come from?
Our beliefs are formed in early childhood. Because the human infant unlike many animal species is totally one-hundred percent dependent on its parents and caregivers to survive, we have to make very sure that we please them. Our life depends on it! So to please the people around us we form infantile opinions about them, what pleases them and what doesn’t, and this filters through into how we live our lives. For instance if we learn early in our lives that when we smile mommy is happy, then we learn to smile no matter what.
Most of us grow up believing to a greater or lesser degree that we are just not good enough. Why is this? Because most of us are parented by people who are themselves victims of their own wounding and conditioning. Being raised by people who have done their inner healing work and choose to live life by decree rather than default, are very few and far between.
So, like our parents before us and their parents before them and so on, we grow up to believe things like: I am flawed; There is something fundamentally wrong with me and
I’m not worthy of being loved.
This is where Science comes in because:
Like attracts Like!
Unless and until we take a deliberate look at our Conditioning and Beliefs they will continue to Dictate our experience of reality.
It is our beliefs that create our Experience of Reality!
Do you want to Change your experience of Reality?
Have a Life of more Ease and less Stress?
Be Happier and more Productive?
Have better Relationships?
Have more Fun and feel like you have a Purpose?
You can change anything about your life if you want to.
Learn to accept the things that you cannot change and change the things you can.
It’s time to stop ‘Should-ing’ Yourself – Here’s How:
- Clear your Limiting Beliefs Find out what these beliefs are that rule your life and then decide to either clear them or re-place them;
- Align the different parts of your psyche especially those that may be in conflict with one another in your sub-conscious. In traumatic events very often what happens is that because the pain is too harmful to handle, a part of our psyche splits off from the others. These parts take on a life of their own and can either work together with one another or in opposition. You know how you can say: A part of me wants this, but another part of me wants something else… well, it’s true we all have many different parts to ourselves. This process will examine these parts and get them to work in harmony with one another.
- Do some Inner Healing clearing work and heal memories associated with emotional pain and trauma.
- Have an Astrology chart done and see your characteristics, challenges and gifts set out before you in a non-judgemental and helpful way. I like to work with astrology as opposed to other personality-differentiation methods like the enneagram etc., because in my 40 years experience with astrology it has proven to be the most powerful way of understanding myself and others, and of improving relationships. There are a number of different types of charts that I do:
a) The Natal Chart which is your Birth Chart,
b) Life Purpose Chart which tells you the deeper life-purposes that your Soul is choosing for you to work on,
c) a Transit Chart which tells you the cosmic influences of the current year and
d) a Synastry Chart which tells you compatibility with another person.
- Have a couple of Zen Coaching sessions to deal with specific issues that you are challenged or confused by;
- Do an Online E-Workshop on Self Love. Don’t have time to go to workshops or prefer not to share your personal details in public? This online workshop on Self Love is perfect for you. Done from the privacy of your own computer, with a personalised facilitator.
Benefits of my Services:
- Release pain and hurts from the past
- Become more calm and less reactive
- Rediscover the source of your personal power
- Clear whatever stops you from taking action
- Open yourself to new possibilities of success
- Clear blocks and barriers easily
- Learn how to work with and harmonize all of your inner psychological parts
- Talk to, negotiate with, and transform the specific parts of yourself that block you from achieving your goals
- Gain more specificity about your path and deepest purpose
- Clear out limiting beliefs in a remarkably efficient support you to move your boldest projects forward
- Develop familiarity with the key “guardians” of your psyche
- Cultivate a deeper sense of self trust, while transcending limiting beliefs and fears that have held you back
- Receive a tool for transforming any part of you into a potent ally, fully aligned with your higher purpose
- Discover how to align your entire being behind your deepest purpose so that “magic” unfolds
- Have more compassion and understanding of why you are like you are which leads to more ease with yourself and do the same for others
- Open to deeper, more profound love
- Discover your true purpose
- Express your true magnificence
- HAVE MORE FUN AND LESS STRESS!
How it works
Whichever modality or tool that I decide to use, there is one commonality and that is that I will create what is called a ‘holding space‘ for healing to occur. This is an extraordinarily powerful thing, and best described by what Matt Licata, contemporary author/teacher calls ‘a luminous awareness’ which is found in a ‘relational matrix’. That alone changes things. The holding that I do is emotional but the experience is the same as being held physically.
“In those moments when we are held, our nervous systems down-regulate, our minds soften, our hearts open, and we come into an ancient sort of rest. That rest that we’ve been longing for in a lifetime that always seemed just out of reach. The rest from becoming.
While our true nature as open, luminous awareness is the ultimate holding environment, as tender human beings we are wired to rest within a relational matrix. To enter into this field with another – weaved of the alchemical substances of presence and of space – is one of the great mysteries of the embodied world.
Held by another, held within by our own hearts, or held by a star – despite the pain and confusion and hopelessness and doubt – somehow we are already held. It’s not something we must earn or deserve or frantically search for.
Held by the morning light as it comes into a room, by the song of the birds, by the imaginal world. Somehow. Already held.” – Matt Licata
If you have something specific to work on, we will most probably use the belief-clearing or inner healing. If however, you would generally like to improve your overall quality of life, I like to start our journey together with an astrology chart. This is because the Natal chart like any other ‘personality test’ reveals your basic characteristics, areas of potential dis-ease and challenge as well as your strong points and where you will excel. The Life Purpose chart goes deeper and tells us what the specific focus that your Soul or Higher Power has set for you in this lifetime. It is like the rudder that steers the ship. When we know what our Life Purpose is, we can focus on it and not waste time and resources on living the lives that are not in accord with that Life Purpose or that other people have set for us.
Once we have your charts done we have a series of Coaching sessions. These sessions will support you in your sorting, appraising and re-aligning of your beliefs, sub-conscious saboteurs and parts with your higher purpose and intention. I use different modalities of coaching depending on what is needed.
Set up a free 30 minute Consultation Session with Me to decide a way forward. Fill out the form at the bottom of this page.
Standard Package: 1 x Natal Astrology Chart
+ 2 x Coach sessions – R1500,00
Gold Package: 1 x Natal Astrology Chart, 1 x Life Purpose Chart
+ 3 x Coach Sessions – R3500.00
Premium Package: 1 x Natal Chart, 1 x Life Purpose Chart,
+ 4 Coaching Sessions
*Coaching done for 1 hour Via Skype, WhatsAPP, Phone or in Person
Set up a free 30 minute Consultation Session with Me to decide a way forward.
What Others have to Say about My Work:
“The Inner Healing and Transformation work provided by Charmaine is a great tool for transforming ‘stuck energy’ into ‘moving forward energy’. A session with Charmaine allowed me to meet with an old wound, which needed to be healed in order for me to move on in a certain area of my life. Charmaine’s extraordinary ability to hold space with presence, reflecting back with accuracy, skillful summarizing, and her knowing of the technique made me feel safe and well taking take during the whole process. I would recommend a session with Charmaine to anyone who is open, and ready for changes in life!” – Marta Lyson, Poland.
“I have never experienced anything quite like the Inner Harmony work with Charmaine. Charmaine’s knowledge of various techniques for alignment work is extensive and the quality of her intervention is powerful. I experienced much more self-confidence after a couple of sessions with Charmaine, it’s like I finally understand why i am like I am, and can have more love and compassion for myself.” A.H. Cape Town
“I worked with Charmaine after a particularly traumatic time in my life. Over a period of 3 months and 12 sessions, I managed to clear the anxiety and trauma around the event. Charmaine also did ‘energetic clearing’ of my flat which enabled me to feel safe in my home space again after the event. She showed remarkable insight and depth of understanding about what I was going through and without her, I would not have made it through in one piece. I highly recommend her to anyone.” Brenda Stewart, Cape Town.
“I met Charmaine just before I got married for the second time. I had developed a problem with not being able to lose weight. After the first session with Charmaine, I felt something shifted and the part of me that had been holding me back was ‘reassigned’ to another job. Since then I have steadily lost weight and have managed to keep it off. Now that I understand the different parts of me, I feel much more relaxed.” Lorraine Mansfield, Colorado, USA
” Here are some reflections from me: It has been a deep and clarifying process to work with beliefs with you. I enjoyed the methods – they suit my nature I guess. I felt trust in the relation and you were very clear and at the same time gentle and friendly. I would really recommend this for others. For me the process has strengthened the value of my being and also given me a deeper peace in my being. That makes me relax more and also more easily speak my truth. Thank you so much !!!” – Mette Jorunn Lunåsmo – Sweden.
“It is my privilege to give a reference on Charmaine’s coaching skills. My coaching sessions with Charmaine have been life changing for me. I approached Charmaine for coaching at times when I was overwhelmed by issues that appeared too big and complex to find a solution for. During the coaching session, the first thing that struck me was the calm, grounded and expansive space that Charmaine provided by her presence. Her non-judgmental listening skills further enabled me to open up and share the whole issue with her. She then guided me through a process using skilled and insightful questions which culminated in me being able to emerge from my confusion and see my situation from a different perspective. In that space, the answers became clear. The coaching is non-directive but skilfully guided. Charmaine brings with her a simple yet powerful coaching model, years of experience, a keen insight into human behaviour, the tenacity to push through to the core of the issue. She also has a gentle and non-judgemental style, a strong spiritual connection and a wide range of tools, experience and knowledge that enhance the coaching experience. I have experienced major positive shifts in my life as a result of the coaching interventions and am astounded by the impact from an apparently effortless and simple intervention”. – Lynnette Wilkinson, Cape Town.
“Charmaine, this is how I experience you as a coach:
- Your coaching provides a safe space for me to be heard, to reflect, to have a mirror, to get to the core issue or the real longings, and to shift out of the place I find myself
- You provide an unconditionally loving Presence.
- You somehow hold the highest and best for me, never letting your view slip to the low places that I sometimes reach, but rather knowing that I have all it takes to transcend it.
- You are flexible in your approach which enables meaningful interaction in a range of different ways, at different times and in different places. You meet your friend or coachee where their need is at the time.
- You are incredibly resourceful and knowledgeable.
- You are non judgmental.
- You are spiritual. One of my favourite quotes is: ‘the quality of the intervention is only as good as the internal quality of the intervenor’. Your very real spiritual practice ensures that your inner quality is good. This is possibly one of the greatest gifts that you bring.
- You listen well.
- You are fully present.
- You are able to feed back and be a mirror.
- At times you are confrontational which shifts me out of a place where I find myself stuck.
-L.H. Cape Town:
For More Information About Me
For all enquiries, email me.
The following are some of the coaching/healing work that I offer one-on-one. These and many others go into making up my toolbox.